Captain Diabetes/Quotes
This page lists all notable quotes voiced out by Captain Diabetes in South Park: The Fractured But Whole. Overview Captain Diabetes' quotes mainly revolve around his superhero persona, in which his diabetic powers gives him unparalleled strength. His quotes show that he is a law-abiding person, most evidently when coming up against a drunken Randy Marsh on the first night of the game. He also acts very stereotypically superhero-like, referring to his enemies as "villains" and making dramatic announcements about himself in third person. He will refer The New Kid as his 'Sidekick' at first (as briefed by The Coon), but later he'll eventually refer The New Kid as 'Butthole' just like the other heroes do, or even as 'Partner'. He is also very eager to be friends with the other heroes and often asks them to hang out with him, much to their annoyance. Field/Story During The Bowels of the Beast * "Fear not! For it is I, Captain Diabetes!" * "Oh my god...oh god...FARTS!" * "HOLY GUACAMOLE! What is this?!" * "COON! COON, COME IN!" * "There's someone in there. Get ready... One. Two. Diabetes!" * "The jig is up, Classi!" * "That is NOT how people get diabetes!" * "Uh oh..." * "YOU are in no good condition to drive!" Using Diabetic Rage * Appearing to the New Kid ** "Diabetes to the rescue!" ** "Did someone say...diabetes?!" ** "It's a fine day to have diabetes!" ** "Whatcha find New Kid?" (when appearing inside the Forensics Room of Park County Police station) * After being farted in the face ** "Diabetes Destruction!" ** "One Diabetes Rage coming up!" ** "Here...it...goes!" * Leaving the place ** "See ya!" ** "Later!" ** "Journey on brave warrior, we will meet again." ** "I fulfilled my duty and now I must depart." ** "Brilliant detective work, Butthole!" (when leaving the Forensics Room of Park County Police station) Battle * Selected ** "The Captain is in!" ** "Captain Diabetes!" ** "To battle!" * Battle start, versus Peppermint Hippo strippers ** "Stand down, ladies! We're here for Classi!" * Turn start ** "My turn!" ** "Diabetes time!" ** "Here we go!" ** "Captain on deck!" ** "Captain Diabetes prepares to strike!" ** "Captain Diabetes is back in action!" ** "Duty calls!" ** "Captain Diabetes, into the fray!" ** "You're no match for Captain Diabetes!" ** "ONE! TWO! DIABETESSSS!!!!" ** "Juice, give me strength!" ** "I will defeat you!" ** "Oh, I'm up? Sorry, I'm a little lightheaded." ** "Behold the true power of Diabetes!" * Turn start and using Sugar Rush ** "Make way for Diabetes!" * Turn start, during The Bowels of the Beast ** "Watch and learn, Sidekick!" ** "You're no match for Captain Diabetes and his trusty Sidekick!" ** "Stand back, Sidekick! I'll take care of this!" ** "I'll hold them off, Sidekick!" * First turn start, versus Brad and Roger ** "Let's expedite this combat, Sidekick! Classi can't wait!" * Turn start, versus Brad and Roger ** "You got your dance, you smelly old men. No refunds!" * Turn start, versus Peppermint Hippo strippers ** "There's no reason for this to get ugly!" ** "Hepatitis is no match for the power of Diabetes!" * Turn start, versus Buca De Faggonchini chefs ** "Sorry to break up the pizza party!" * Turn start, versus Red Wine Drunk Randy ** "I will save you from yourself!" * Self or New Kid turn start ** "Now you're gonna get it." * Call Girl turn start ** "I'm sure everyone on the message boards is rooting for you, Call Girl!" * New Kid turn start ** "I'm counting on you, partner!" ** "Show them what you're made of, Butthole!" ** "You've got this, Butthole!" * New Kid turn start, versus Beer-Drunk Randy Marsh ** "Stop him, Sidekick!" ** "Attack!" * New Kid turn start, before end of The Bowels of the Beast ** "You can't stand up to my trusty Sidekick!" ** "Show them what you're made of, Sidekicksic" ** "Take them down, Sidekick!" ** "Get them, Sidekick!" ** "Go on, Sidekick! Kick their ass!" * New wave, versus Peppermint Hippo strippers ** "We can't let her get away, Sidekick!" ** "We need to get to Classi before the stripper horde overwhelms us!" ** "Keep heading towards Classi!" ** "Press on, Sidekick!" ** "We've got to catch Classi! Down the hallway, Sidekick, quickly!" ** "Head for the end of the hallway!" * Turn start, Spontaneous Bootay on field ** "Stay away from Spontaneous Bootay!" ** "Steer clear of that ass!" ** "Look out! Her ass is DEATH!" * Idle ** "Hmm, what to do..." ** "I must strategize carefully." ** "It sure is great hanging out with you guys." * Idle versus Beer-Drunk Randy Marsh ** "We must save this citizen... from himself!" * Ally idle ** "Is it my turn yet?" ** "Did you guys know insulin comes from pigs?" ** "I don't know why everyone doesn't use insulin to gain super strength." ** "Hey, you guys wanna watch a movie at my place after this?" * Ally idle, versus Red Wine Drunk Randy ** "We'll never give you your keys! NEVER!" * Toolshed idle ** "You gonna go, Stan?" * After attacking ** "Oh, wow. You see what I just did, guys?" ** "Pretend that really hurt. My friends are watching." * After attacking Peppermint Hippo stripper ** "Do you think she's OK? Don't tell Coon I said that." * After self or ally attacking Drunk Randy Marsh ** "You really need to sign up for AA, Mr. Marsh." * After using Coma Combo ** "And let THAT be your lesson to never underestimate the power of Diabetes!" * After using Coma Combo and Insulin Shock ** "Don't you know how to read a room? Next time leave before things get awkward." ** "That's how Captain Diabetes deals with personal-space invaders!" * Using Sugar Rush ** "Sugar Rush!" ** "Diabetes coming through!" ** "Sugaaaaaaaaaar ruuuuuuuuuush!" ** "Sugar Ruuuuuuussh!" ** "Sugar SMASH!" ** "This is for my own good." ** "I feel sugar coursing through my veins!" * Using Sugar Rush, versus Peppermint Hippo strippers ** "Coming through, ladies." * Using Sugar Rush and Insulin Shock ** "Diabeetus!" * Using Sugar Rush, Insulin Shock, and High-Fructose Death Wave ** "Hell yes!" ** "Yeah!" ** "Smash!" ** "Take this!" * After using Sugar Rush ** "That's got the old insulin pump pumping!" ** "You clearly deserved that." * After using Sugar Rush versus Beer-Drunk Randy Marsh ** "I'm shielded!" ** "Now I've got a shield that will absorb damage!" * After using Coma Combo and Sugar Rush and after Super Craig using Mega Fist Punch ** "Punching, for great justice!" * After using Sugar Rush and Insulin Shock ** "Maybe we can be pals after you check out of the E.R..." ** "See guys! Captain Diabetes is cool!" * Using Insulin Shock ** "Take a load on!" ** "Insulin shock!" ** "Diabetic rage!" ** "Insulin flows through me!" ** "Diabetes Rage!" ** "Rage!" ** "Surf's up!" ** "Upsy-daisy!" ** "Feel the power of Diabetes!" ** "Diabetic...Rage...!" ** "Take...this...!" * After using Insulin Shock ** "You need to make better friends. Hey, I'm available!" * Using High-Fructose Death Wave ** "High-Fructose Death Wave!" ** "I'm not responsible for what happens next!" * After ally attacking ** "Brutal! But deserved!" ** "Impressive move, hero!" ** "Not even my podiatrist can save that villain." ** "They'll want to apply some light pressure to those wounds." ** "Captain Diabetes approves!" * After ally using healing move ** "Show 'em who's boss!" * After ally attacking Red Wine Drunk Randy ** "I'm keeping your keys, and that's final." * After Call Girl using Selfie-Stick Strike ** "Back up those photos! They will be historical documents after we save the town!" * After Call Girl using Blocked ** "Ha! That combatant will have to go play outside now." * After the Coon using Coon Lunge ** "They should've moved if they didn't want to get all scratched up." * After Human Kite using Laser Burn and Wrath of Kite ** "Keep fighting the good fight, Human Kite!" * After Mosquito attacking ** "You should really swab your mouth-tube thing down with alcohol between meals." ** "The old slurp and swap. Nice one, Mosquito!" ** "If that doesn't make them reevaluate their life choices, well nothing will." * After Mysterion using Dark Whisper ** "You really put the fear of Mysterion into him, Mysterion." * After New Kid attacking ** "Well done, Butthole!" ** "I like your style, New Kid!" ** "Show them who's boss, New Kid." ** "Butthole's busting some butts!" ** "Striking a blow for justice! I love it!" ** "Yuck. I wouldn't wish that on anyone." ** "Nice one, New Kid!" ** "That's some nice superheroing!" * After Professor Chaos using Chaos Blast ** "You creamed him with Chaos!" ** "Well struck, Professor!" * After Professor Chaos using Hammer of Chaos ** "Must feel good to get all that Chaos out of your system, Professor!" * After Super Craig using Mega Fist Punch ** "You turned their grey matter into ground chuck!" ** "We are definitely on the same page when it comes to punching villainy into submission." * After Toolshed using Drillslinger ** "I've got lots of tools at my house. Want to go play with my dad's table saw?" * After Tupperware using Tupper Tornado ** "Serves them right for standing in your way!" * After Wonder Tweek using Supreme Lightning ** "I felt that in my fillings." ** "A little electro-shock therapy never hurt anybody, right?" ** "Good thing I'm wearing my rubber underpants today." ** "You might've shocked some sense into those ne'er-do-wells." * After a Timefart Glitch, versus Red Wine Drunk Randy ** "Zounds! You've done it again, ButtLord!" * After a Timefart Summon ** "Let me know if your time twin wants to hang out." * Targeted by Kite Shield ** "Thanks!" ** "Hey, thanks!" * Defeating enemy ** "Hah, I got 'em!" * Enemy defeated ** "We got these guys!" ** "Hah! These guys are no match for us!" ** "You lose, you snooze." ** "Nighty-night." * Human Kite 2 defeated ** "And that's what you get when you mess with Captain Diabetes!" * Peppermint Hippo stripper defeated ** "Another beauty bites the dust!" ** "We're really very sorry it had to come to violence, ladies!" * Healing ** "We need you to stay lucid!" * Healing item on ally ** "Here!" * Healed ** "Oh yeah, that's what I needed." ** "I feel like a million bucks." ** "Thanks for the help!" ** "Captain Diabetes is grateful to you." * Healed and shielded ** "Oh, thanks!" * Shielded ** "Thanks!" ** "Thanks." * Reviving ** "On your feet, soldier." * Attacked ** "Well struck, combatant! But Diabetes will prevail!" ** "Your attacks only fuel my rage!" ** "Stop hitting me! I bruise easy!" ** "Ha! It'll take more than that to slow down Captain Diabetes!" * Attacked by Brad or Roger ** "Hey! Didn't your parents teach you not to hit strippers?" * Attacked by Peppermint Hippo stripper ** "Get to cover! It's rainin' pussy!" * Ally attacked ** "That doesn't look so good." ** "Leave our friend alone, fiend!" ** "The nerve of that villain!" * New Kid attacked by Peppermint Hippo stripper ** "Whoa, mama! Lay off my sidekick!" * Ally defeated ** "Aw, man." ** "Oh no! We lost a hero!" ** "Suffering Saccharine! He needs help!" * Ally defeated, before joining Freedom Pals ** "Captain Diabetes will avenge you, fellow Coon and Friend!" * New Kid defeated ** "I will avenge you, Butthole!" * New Kid defeated, versus Brad and Roger ** "Oh no! Sidekick! I never should have made you do a lap dance!" * Ally Bleeding ** "Someone's feeling pretty woozy right about now, and for once it's not me!" * Enemy Enraged ** "That's got 'em a little stirred up..." * Grossed Out ** "Anyone else feel nauseous after that, or is it just time for my insulin shot?" * Enemy Shocked ** "Oh, you should be shocked, villains!" * Ally or enemy Slowed ** "Say, you've put on some weight." * Victory ** "All your base are belongs to us!" ** "For truth, justice, and everyone who's ever hung out with me!" * Victory, after joining Freedom Pals ** "Retribution, but with Inclusion!" * Victory, versus Brad and Roger ** "See the manager if you have any complaints about your lap-dance experience at the Peppermint Hippo, gentlemen. Adieu." * Dialogue ** With Beer-Drunk Randy Marsh, Beer-Drunk Randy Marsh turn start *** Randy: "GIVE ME MY GODDAMN KEYS!" Captain Diabetes: "I'm afraid that's impossible!" ** With Beer-Drunk Randy Marsh, Beer-Drunk Randy Marsh turn start, first turn *** Randy: "Oh hey, the wife needs me to pick up some feminine products, so keys, please." Captain Diabetes: "Like...bubble bath?" Randy: "Gimme my FUCKIN' KEEYS!" *** Randy: "We could all go to the store together! YOU...you drive!" Captain Diabetes: "I will not break the law, sir." Randy: "Gimme my FUCKIN' KEEYS!" ** With Beer-Drunk Randy Marsh, Beer-Drunk Randy Marsh turn start, second turn *** Randy: "Hey, I think I dropped my keys. Anyone seen 'em?" Captain Diabetes: "I have confiscated them, sir." ** With Beer-Drunk Randy Marsh, Beer-Drunk Randy Marsh using Fist Magic *** Randy: "Wait, why are we fighting again?" Captain Diabetes: "I have made a citizen's arrest of your keys." Randy: "YOU SON OF A BITCH!" *** Randy: "I'm fine to drive! I'm fi- OK... OK... OK... Now I'm fine." Captain Diabetes: "You should be fine to drive at approximately 11 AM tomorrow." Randy: "It's 11 AM somewhere!" ** With Beer-Drunk Randy Marsh, after Beer-Drunk Randy Marsh using Party Foul *** Randy: "OK there. I wasn't good to drive...before, but now I am. Thanks for... Thanks for having my back, now let me have my key." Captain Diabetes: "I'm sorry, but I stand by my previous assessment of your fitness to operate machinery." ** With Beer-Drunk Randy Marsh, Beer-Drunk Randy Marsh defeated *** Randy: "I'll get those keys right after this short little nap." Captain Diabetes: "Good night, Mr. Marsh!" ** With Buca De Faggonchini chef, Buca De Faggonchini chef using Tenderizer *** Chef: "Hey kid, you ever been spatchcocked before?" Captain Diabetes: "I don't like the sound of that!" ** With The Coon, after the Coon using Coon Pounce *** Captain Diabetes: "Looking sharp, Coon!" The Coon: "Damn right, Diabetes." ** With Fastpass, Fastpass attacking *** Captain Diabetes: "What kind of juice do you drink? 'Cause I'll have whatever you're having." Fastpass: "Sorry, Captain Diabetes. That's top secret." ** With Human Kite, after attacking Human Kite, Alternate Universes Collide Again *** Captain Diabetes: "I hope that didn't hurt too badly, Human Kite!" Human Kite: "Well, it did." ** With Human Kite, after using Coma Combo *** Human Kite: "Thanks, Captain!" Captain Diabetes: "No problem, Human Kite! Maybe later we can hang out at the mall or something." ** With Human Kite, after using Insulin Shock *** Human Kite: "Yes! Take the fight to them!" Captain Diabetes: "I will, valued ally!" Human Kite: "OK, calm down." ** With Human Kite, after ally attacking *** Captain Diabetes: "Not even my podiatrist can save that villain." Human Kite: "Podiatrist? Is he like the Alfred to your Batman?" ** With Human Kite, after Human Kite using Laser Burn *** Captain Diabetes: "You're some marksman, Human Kite!" Human Kite: "Well, it's kind of hard to miss when you aim just by looking." Captain Diabetes: "Well, now that you put it that way, how could you ever miss?" *** Captain Diabetes: "I'd love to hear more about that heat vision of yours, Human Kite." Human Kite: "Uh, sure. I can tell you all about it someday." Captain Diabetes: "Hear that, guys? Human Kite and Captain Diabetes are like best friends now!" ** With Human Kite, Human Kite attacked *** Captain Diabetes: "I think they knocked your spars out of alignment, Human Kite." Human Kite: "I still feel pretty aligned, but thanks." ** With Professor Chaos, after using Coma Combo *** Professor Chaos: "Well, you must spend all day pumping iron, Cap." Captain Diabetes: "Nah, I'm just naturally swole." ** With Professor Chaos, after using Sugar Rush *** Professor Chaos: "I don't know how you do it, Captain!" Captain Diabetes: "We should hang out more often. I'd love to show you." Professor Chaos: "Sure! You can be my Admiral Anarchy!" ** With Red Wine Drunk Randy, battle start *** Captain Diabetes: "You're being unreasonable, Mr. Marsh. Let me call your wife." Randy: "Leave Sharon outta this, you little prick!" ** With Red Wine Drunk Randy, turn start *** Randy: "Wait, wait, wait! I'm uh... I'm a diabetic too, so don't hit me!" Captain Diabetes: "Captain Diabetes does not make special arrangements for diabetic villains!" ** With Red Wine Drunk Randy, Red Wine Drunk Randy defeated *** Randy: "All right, I'm gonna take a cab." Captain Diabetes: "There! Nobody drinks and drives on Captain Diabetes' watch." ** With Super Craig, Super Craig turn start *** Captain Diabetes: "Knock their lights out!" Super Craig: "Lights, teeth, whatever." ** With Super Craig, after attacking *** Captain Diabetes: "Oh, wow. You see what I just did, guys?" Super Craig: "You hit someone?" ** With Super Craig, attacked *** Super Craig: "You know how to take a hit, Diabetes." Captain Diabetes: "Thanks for noticing, Super Craig!" ** With Toolshed, ally idle *** Captain Diabetes: "Hey, you guys wanna watch a movie at my place after this? Stan?" Toolshed: "Uh... Nah dude I'm busy, sorry." Captain Diabetes: "How about tomorrow?" *** Captain Diabetes: "Did you guys know insulin comes from pigs?" Toolshed: "Cool, Scott." ** With Toolshed, after Toolshed using Spiral Power *** Captain Diabetes: "There's a new sheriff in town, and his name is Toolshed." Toolshed: "Thanks, Captain Diabetes! You can be my deputy." ** With Toolshed, after Toolshed using Drillslinger *** Captain Diabetes: "Captain Diabetes salutes you, Toolshed!" Toolshed: "Yeah, OK...thanks." ** With Wonder Tweek, after using Coma Combo *** Wonder Tweek: "I salute you, Captain!" Captain Diabetes: "At ease, Wonder Tweek!" * Unsorted ** "My goodness." ** "Smells like team spirit." ** Captain Diabetes: "You and me should do some of that crossfit stuff, Super Craig." Super Craig: "I would rather die." ** Captain Diabetes: "You're not getting away with this, Professor Chaos!" Professor Chaos: "Oh, but I am, Captain Diabetes, and I'm going to enjoy watching you pee yourself!" ** Professor Chaos: "Ha-ha! Behold, my minions! Chaos grips their soul and tears them apart!" Captain Diabetes: "Does not!" Professor Chaos: "Does too!" Captain Diabetes: "Nuh uh!" Professor Chaos: "Yeah huh!" Captain Diabetes: "Does not!" Professor Chaos: "Does too!" Captain Diabetes: "Nuh uh!" Professor Chaos: "Yeah huh!" Super Craig: "Oh my god, will you shitheads fucking stop already?" ** Captain Diabetes: "Is that really the most productive behavior right now?" Super Craig: "If it pisses off at least one shithead, it's productive." ** Captain Diabetes: "You should feel honored! You just got walloped by one of the world's most popular superheroes!" Super Craig: "Check your meter, Scott, because you're fucking delirious." ** Captain Diabetes: "Yeah, I got a move like that too." Super Craig: "Nobody cares, dude." ** Captain Diabetes: "Sometimes those villains just need a little nudge, eh, Super Craig?" Super Craig: "If by nudge you mean punch the shit out of, sure." Captain Diabetes: "Um, OK. I'll just be over here taking notes on your technique, Super Craig!" Super Craig: "Not much to it. Punch and punch again. Jot that down if you want." ** Super Craig: "You fight all sloppy and shit, but you get the job done." Captain Diabetes: "Gosh. Thanks, valued ally!" Super Craig: "OK, dial it back." Trivia * Captain Diabetes is the only Coon Friend to ever say the Freedom Pals' motto "Retribution, but with Inclusion" after a victory. * His victory quote, "All your base are belongs to us!" is a direct reference to the popular internet meme known as "AYBABT", a mistranslated phrase from the Sega Mega Drive game Zero Wing. Category:Quotes Category:Lists Category:South Park: The Fractured But Whole Category:Characters voiced by Matt Stone